Part 2: feeding your demon 

 

Now you have connected with your early innocence it is time to revisit the present: this process is for meeting something you usually try not to look at too closely. Find somewhere you can relax and travel internally without interruption. You may want dim light or silence. Take your time settling into the space. Notice the weight of your body where it touches the chair, floor or bed. Let your breathing slow naturally.

 

Bring to mind a feeling that has followed you for a long time. Something persistent. Anxiety. Shame. Anger. Loneliness. Jealousy. Self-criticism. Grief. Do not choose the feeling you think you should work on. Choose the one that is most prominent. Now notice where this feeling lives in your body. Perhaps it sits in your throat like a knot. Perhaps it presses against your chest. Perhaps it coils in your stomach or pulls at your shoulders. Focus on the sensation itself rather than the story surrounding it.

 

Ask yourself what shape it has. Does it feel large or small? Heavy or light? Smooth or rough? Hot or cold? Does it have a colour? A texture? A movement? Spend time noticing it carefully, as though you are encountering it for the first time.

 

When you are ready, imagine this feeling slowly leaving your body and taking form in front of you. Do not force the image, let it arrive however it wishes. Perhaps it appears as a creature, a person, an animal, a shadow or something stranger. Notice its face if it has one. Notice its posture, its age, its expression. Pay attention to the emotional atmosphere around it. If you can’t see anything, don’t worry, this is a repeatable process and there is no wrong way to experience it. 

 

If you have the form in front of you, ask it two questions: what do you want, and what do you truly need? Listen carefully for the answers without trying to control them.

 

When you are ready, imagine stepping into the body of this being. Become it completely for a few moments and look back at yourself through its eyes. From inside this creature answer the same two questions again. What do you want? What do you truly need? Notice how different the answers may feel from this perspective. Often what appears cruel, frightening or destructive is trying desperately to protect something softer beneath it. A need for safety, or affection, for rest, permission, connection, strength.

 

Remain there for a little while, then slowly return to yourself. Now imagine your own body becoming warm and luminous. Imagine it melting into a glowing nectar or light that contains exactly what this being truly needs. Not what it demands, but what it lacks, what it seeks from you. Offer this nourishment freely to the creature and watch it receive what it has been missing. Continue until it is completely satisfied. Notice whether it changes shape, becomes calmer, dissolves, sleeps or transforms into something else entirely.

 

See what remains when its hunger has finally been met. Does another figure appear? Sit with this thought, can the being that previously caused disequilibrium become a guide? Not it has what it needs can it lose its hunger and become useful. What form does it take now? An animal; a calmer presence; a light. If something friendly emerges, ask it what protection or guidance it offers you. Spend a few moments in its company and notice how it feels to be near it.

 

Then imagine stepping into this ally as well. Feel its qualities inside your own body. Its steadiness, its warmth, its confidence and gentleness. Finally let this presence dissolve into light and return quietly into your chest, your stomach, your hands, your face.

 

Sit for a few moments without trying to think about the experience. Simply rest. Breathe. Feel the space inside your body now. If you can’t hold those images inside your head and you have the urge perhaps draw this being, or write about how it looked. Keep any record of this encounter with the portal object from the first exercise. You can repeat this exercise as much as you want, addressing different difficult emotions each time until they become familiar and more integrated.